"Sex and the City" and Friendships

About a month ago, I spent a Friday night with a great friend of mine and we watched "Sex and The City." I've been an avid follower of this delicious HBO series for years and was quite saddened when it aired its final episode sometime ago. So all the hype and publicity to propagate the movie was well worth it. Personally, I feel that Carrie Bradshaw, strongly portrayed by Sarah Jessica Parker, along with the three other main divas (Cynthia Nixon, Kristin Davis, and Kim Catrall) lived up to their followers' expectations. They surely met mine.

The series itself did an amazing job narrating the various lifestyles of women in their 30-something life cycle, and many of us vicariously lived through the triumphs, miseries, failures, and successes in their personal relationships. But most importantly, the show depicted the authentic nature of friendships, one that though rooted in solid ground of hodge podge of personalities, love, and solidarity amongst each other may find it difficult and challenging at times to stay afloat, lend support, and even maintain the connection.

So afterwards, my friend and I continued the evening with a late dinner and we found ourselves really immersed in conversation about the movie. We practically disected the entire anatomy of the film and eventually focused on the following question: Who among the characters do you relate to?

So that was easy for me - Miranda Hobbs, portrayed by Cynthia Nixon. I truly hated her character in the series because she reminded me of an uptight, man-hating lesbian (no offense to you ladies, I'm family myself) who just pissed at anyone who showed some signs of happiness and meaningful romantic relationship. Hahaha, ok maybe that's why I eventually ended up relating to her character so much. Anyway, after much more analyzation of Miranda, I realized that what really fascinates me about her is the"no bullshit" personality. She may have her personal biases, issues about men and relationships, and cynical outlook on life, but she strikes me as a powerful woman. She's educated, career-oriented, independent, and though a late-bloomer developed into quite a gorgeous redhead. She also seems to be the type who deals with her ghosts and all the fearful qualities of life. She may rant and bitch about it, but she's always dealt with and confronted some of the most uncomfortable and disconcerting issues in the show, particularly her fear of love, attachment, and abandonment . So more power to you, Miranda Hobbs!

The juicy conversation then diverted to the issue of friendships. My friend and I were once part of such a dynamic of a group of cosmopolitans during our 20s - 30 something. Damn, that socialization process was such hard work! And mind you, though there seemed to be a budding strong friendship quality to the group, that became merely a mask with many underlying individual complexes that just made it challenging to create homogeny. Going out to the clubs every weekend, figuring out what to wear, what guy was the eye candy of the week or month, talking about the sordid escapades of unrequited love and sexual encounters became old news to me, and I lost interest. It was also at this moment that I met my then partner of 8 years and I was applying to graduate schools. I felt like I wasn't being taken seriously, and most of our conversations revolved around men. It just lacked substance, and I found myself spending less time with the group until i lost touch with them completely. I must say though that I thank these three wonderful guys because much of the fun and joy I experienced in my gay 20s involved them, and for that I'm forever grateful. These guys can really party hard! Last year, we reconnected, and for old time's sake, we had dinner at one of San Francisco's posh restaurants and went to a club after. It's amazing how everyone still looks well-maintained and hot..LOL. We've matured very gracefully, and the universe has been really good to the four of us.

So my friend and I came to a concensus that friendships either thrive and evolve or stagnate and eventually dissolve. I suppose that this is neither good nor bad, it just is. And perhaps the longevity of the connection is reliant upon the purpose of being connected to begin with. Once the purpose has been completed, maybe we sometimes have to let go of what no longer serves us so that we may continue to learn, grow, and evolve.

Overall it was a time well spent with my bff (best friend forever haha). This is truly one connection that has evolved through the years as we constantly renew and update our contract with one another. Thanks bff, love ya.

I've attached a youtube snippet of "Sex and the City" movie. Enjoy...I did.