Ready..Set..(sssiiggghh)..GO!

Wow. Has it really been almost two years since I last blogged?!? To say that so many events have taken place, dreams materialized, goals failed and revamped, and aspects of my persona developed won't even do it justice. TWO F*KN YEARS. Okaaay, breathe, Rod, and chillax.


So why blog once again? Well, I find that journaling for me has been therapeutic, though I don't do it often enough which only validates the thought that I'm probably just as nutty and emo as I've always been. But also, I feel called to start documenting some of my milestones.


So where should I start aside from the beginning. Hhhmmm, well how about a continuation of my last entry entitled, "My Homage to the Last Seven Years of Peanut and Poohpie." Well, eight years later, and we mutually decided to take the "boyfriend" status out of the equation. See, ok folks, WE KNEW YOU'D REACT THIS WAY THAT'S WHY A YEAR LATER AND WE STILL HAVEN'T REALLY MADE AN OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT. We're doing very well, great as a mater of fact. After eight years of love and growth, we felt that it would benefit both of us if we explored our personal individual maturation. There's such a strong will to individuate and really relinquish who we are as individuals. This is not a cop-out or an excuse to be self-centered or escape the responsibilities and challenges of being part of a partnership dynamic. We simply realized that the deeper we journeyed into our relationship, the more we began to lose our sense of self. And the focus, effort, time, and attention became fixated on the coupleship. It became "Peanut and Pooh" rather than Peanut and Pooh. Even more so, we were labeled as "the powerhouse gay asian couple" by friends, family, and peers, and talk about pressure galore!


This process was very difficult. Though mutually agreed upon, we cried, fought, yelled, and cried some more together for months. But to salvage the "boyfriend" status just was not an option. It felt right, still does despite some of the painstaking adjustments. But we both continue to gain so much at who we are becoming in each other's lives. To say that Poohpie (Ken) is my best friend is minimizing what we have. To say that he's become like my brother IS JUST PLAIN GROSS! EEEWW? HOW INCESTUOUS IS THAT IMPLICATION?!? To say that he's my "life partner" will only confuse people - "How can you refer to him as your life partner when he's no longer your boyfriend?" But that's who and what he represents in my life, a partner, my soul partner.....YES! Wouldn't it be hilar to walk around introducing him to people, particularly the left-brained republicans of the mighty US of A: Hello there, please meet my soul partner Ken..." TRIPPY! I oughta try it.

We're much happier, so much more than when we were dating, so much more than when we were having the best time under the "boyfriend" status. Why, you might ask? Because for the first time in our lives we are able to love each other with freedom. We're able to love each other without the fear of losing one another due to some third-party who has the insecurity and low self-confidence and pitiful self-esteem of a plastic doll. We can be authentic and nurture our personal journeys without guilt. There's no abandonment, neglect, or ambivalence. There is only pure love. There is only acceptance. There is only friendship and partnership in the true essence of the word.

I know that this is a relationship dynamic that may be challenging for many to comprehend or even conceptualize. But living an alternative lifestyle as an educated, strong, and empowered gay Filipino male in the United States of America, if that alone does not qualify me as the poster boy for diversity in every aspect of the word, then I don't know what will. I've always danced to the beat of my own drums, so why stop now.

Cheers to you, poohpie.

Now it's time to continue moving forward :).