“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” - Marianne Williamson
what a profound affirmation of strength and empowerment. it really is all about love, loving self and others.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Letting Go
"go ahead and ring your bells, light your candles, and call out to God but beware because when He comes he will put you on his anvil and beat you and beat you until he turns brass into pure gold." - jack kornfield
it's been quite some time since i've expressed the ramblings of my inner world publicly. i've had a lot of time in the past several months to sit and stew in my thoughts and emotions, much of which are even difficult for me to articulate to this day. i've often wondered how a man who has so much passion for being the catalyst to the healing and transformation of others have such uncertainties and insecurities about his own trajectory manifesting in an array of discontent and consisting of many underlying representations of his own internal dramas. am i losing it? have i somehow fallen into the abyss of my clients' mental and emotional clutter? why do i all of a sudden feel stagnant and imobile, as if i am merely a participant in the experimentation of life and somebody else is actually navigating and in control? whatever happened to my source of equanimity?
my quest for spiritual growth comes with a price. i have been on this path for almost six years now, excluding the first thrity plus years of my life since birth! and my God (no pun intended), there are times when i feel beaten, drenched, and rinsed that all i can do is to scream and shout, "OKAAAAYYY!!! JUST TELL ME WHAT I SHOULD DO THEN?!" but in spite all this, the process of coming out unscathed and wiser is a validation of my truth and authenticity.
it's wonderful to be reminded that we don't always have to be in control of situations. we can just let go and let God. this is not to say that we shouldn't take responsibility for our own actions and creation, but to remember or be open to the possibility that perhaps there's a force exponentially much more powerful than us who is responsible for everything that is taking place, that we are just a small aspect of the grand revelation.
somebody asked me not long ago, "what is your concept of God? " i paused for a few minutes because as i unravelled this existential question, i realized that my relationship to the Divine has changed yet i still feel a hint of guilt about the ideology that i am adopting....and embodying. my response: God is the ultimate source, and since we come from that source we are godly. God is not the man with the beard who micromanages our life and existence. God is neither a He or a She who punishes, judges, or condemns. God is within, in our hearts, enmeshed with our spirit, and in every DNA component of our being. the whole creation is God.
i respect people's diversity, and we all follow our own set of belief systems. but i guess my point is God or no God, we must all find that source of inner strength within us, the part of our being that is pure and everlasting because when all else fails and life just seems so unbearable, we have to know that there's a way out of that darkness, that there's a force within our reach that can aid us in navigating our broken hearts through the dark corners of our minds...back to life. it is during these moments of alchemy when we are then transformed into gold.
be well.
it's been quite some time since i've expressed the ramblings of my inner world publicly. i've had a lot of time in the past several months to sit and stew in my thoughts and emotions, much of which are even difficult for me to articulate to this day. i've often wondered how a man who has so much passion for being the catalyst to the healing and transformation of others have such uncertainties and insecurities about his own trajectory manifesting in an array of discontent and consisting of many underlying representations of his own internal dramas. am i losing it? have i somehow fallen into the abyss of my clients' mental and emotional clutter? why do i all of a sudden feel stagnant and imobile, as if i am merely a participant in the experimentation of life and somebody else is actually navigating and in control? whatever happened to my source of equanimity?
my quest for spiritual growth comes with a price. i have been on this path for almost six years now, excluding the first thrity plus years of my life since birth! and my God (no pun intended), there are times when i feel beaten, drenched, and rinsed that all i can do is to scream and shout, "OKAAAAYYY!!! JUST TELL ME WHAT I SHOULD DO THEN?!" but in spite all this, the process of coming out unscathed and wiser is a validation of my truth and authenticity.
it's wonderful to be reminded that we don't always have to be in control of situations. we can just let go and let God. this is not to say that we shouldn't take responsibility for our own actions and creation, but to remember or be open to the possibility that perhaps there's a force exponentially much more powerful than us who is responsible for everything that is taking place, that we are just a small aspect of the grand revelation.
somebody asked me not long ago, "what is your concept of God? " i paused for a few minutes because as i unravelled this existential question, i realized that my relationship to the Divine has changed yet i still feel a hint of guilt about the ideology that i am adopting....and embodying. my response: God is the ultimate source, and since we come from that source we are godly. God is not the man with the beard who micromanages our life and existence. God is neither a He or a She who punishes, judges, or condemns. God is within, in our hearts, enmeshed with our spirit, and in every DNA component of our being. the whole creation is God.
i respect people's diversity, and we all follow our own set of belief systems. but i guess my point is God or no God, we must all find that source of inner strength within us, the part of our being that is pure and everlasting because when all else fails and life just seems so unbearable, we have to know that there's a way out of that darkness, that there's a force within our reach that can aid us in navigating our broken hearts through the dark corners of our minds...back to life. it is during these moments of alchemy when we are then transformed into gold.
be well.
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